And Then We Said Good bye Forever!

(Saying good bye is the most painful way of solving a problem)

Story Intro

Sometimes your heart gets broken but you still choose to love people with those broken pieces. The idea of love that transcends your idea of rationality is all too real in this case. Love is ambiguous and puts you in a tragically awkward situation, where heartache is rather inevitable or more “likely” if one chooses the diplomatic connotations.  Here I do not want myself to be portrayed as a cynic regarding love. Love is love. It is not evil. However, in view of my hopeless condition in this matter, surely, a book regarding “how to fail at love through 101 ways” can be penned, which  may own up shamelessly.  I just want to emphasize the consequences of heart wrenching Goodbyes. Those goodbyes which surely does not consist any good in it but only heartache.

“Honeymoon” Period: There comes a time in one’s life when things which lacks attentions and attraction to the person. However, suddenly it makes sense in strange ways. It feels so right. You go with the flow.  This adrenaline gives you energy and hope.  You see the life with hope optimism. It is so clear that you just want to see her face each time you wake up. That person is your world and universe and perhaps beyond, if there is any! It’s not surreal, these are feeling one can’t express. One of the most precious feelings. You never want to compromise on an opportunity to see her face. The more you meet, the more you fall for each other.

The Advanced Stage of Love: You plan for the future. Obviously, you compromise in so many things because you would want to work this out perfectly. Not everything goes your way. Love demands sacrifice. A sacrifice you willingly make if you really do love. It’s selfless “to some extent”.  Planning for the future begins to take shape. This is an advanced stage. You picture your loved one in your life as a partner. A person who will go on transform your bad days into good and see you succeed with a smile on the face. Expectations reach the maximum threshold. That is the time; you realize that her life is closely associated with yours. You consider a sense of belonging to that person. Your future is now mutually attached.

Complications: Everything proceeds according to the script. Then like the textbook drama, action and masala movies, complications start to pile up out of nowhere. At first you discount and ignore such “minor” differences of thoughts as an irritant which will soon shoo away. But like a bad karma, it sticks through. Sorted out for time being but it reappears in new avatars frustrating and sometimes overcoming you to the fullest. You start to get delusional and ask questions like why me? What wrong did i do to deserve this day? Maybe i am not close to God, so he is punishing me? And certain other thoughts like inferiority complexes such as maybe i am not worth it. However, she reassures you. She embraces you tightly in every “misconception” and again like an innocent kid, you just forget it and move on.  However, you start to dream the nightmares of what might happen if the worse scenario materializes, never knowing, its gradually transforming into your real life. Waking up after every nightmare, you show gratitude to heavens that this is just a dream. Incidentally, there are also times when both of you are constrained. Both wanted to meet but cant. Something goes wrong each time. Perhaps, the frustration and sorrow of not being close to one another when it is required invents misunderstandings beyond repair.

Ego Ruins the Relationships: Now, ego enters with a bang and shatters everything in no time. Nothing is left to cherish of all the past. False assumptions take hold. Now things are going exactly towards the nightmares of your dreams.  It’s manifesting into a terrible reality. All of a sudden you break communications. Each of you expects the other to bend knees. No one cares to mend fences and bridges. Accommodate each other. No, never, why can’t he/she approach me on its own.  Then slowly, both begin to associate themselves with “false” sense of disrespect and lack  of sensitivity. Remember, love was selfless. Look, where the fate brought us now.

The Heartbreak: There is a pin drop silence from everywhere. A voice which is so familiar each day vanishes. You long for each message which is not really there even though you search for it madly. Maybe, it’s the internet? No? Okay will wait for tomorrow. How can we stop talking? It’s just a phase! The silence continues days and nights. Why can’t the world stop for once? But no, it will continue, an inconvenient reality. Slowly and gradually you start to feel empty and depressed. All the places you shared time together starts to bite you to the core. You start to fight yourself. So we have come to this? Unbelievable. Then you start giving yourself silly explanations. Perhaps its luck. We were not meant to be. All other relations suffer because you suffer. This is what you can’t afford for a longer period of time, so you unwillingly go with the flow of life. You sail into the heartless ocean of the world. Now, gradually you make peace with the realities. Yes! It happened. I failed. Can’t fight a losing battle anymore. I don’t have anything left to continue.

The Final Good Bye! : Hence, you prepare yourself to say Goodbye that you really don’t want to say. Because Goodbyes are harder for the person who is leaving but it is excruciatingly painful for the person who is left behind. Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed forever.  As much as you wanted to stay with the past memories, you drag your soul to move on and perhaps pay the last rites on heart wrenching love that once took you so close to each other but now misunderstandings has ruined it and both feels poles apart. Now somewhere down the line, i am convinced my love has disastrously failed me. The Fairy tales are only written in books and mine is certainly not different. Hence, the last and painful goodbye is uttered while crushing your own self and emotions in the process. This world is an unfair place to live. Most certainly it is!