(Saying good bye is the most painful way of solving a problem)
Story
Intro
Sometimes your heart gets broken but you still
choose to love people with those broken pieces. The idea of love that
transcends your idea of rationality is all too real in this case. Love is
ambiguous and puts you in a tragically awkward situation, where heartache is
rather inevitable or more “likely” if one chooses the diplomatic connotations. Here I do not want myself to be portrayed as a
cynic regarding love. Love is love. It is not evil. However, in view of my
hopeless condition in this matter, surely, a book regarding “how to fail at
love through 101 ways” can be penned, which may own up shamelessly. I just want to emphasize the consequences of
heart wrenching Goodbyes. Those goodbyes which surely does not consist any good
in it but only heartache.
“Honeymoon”
Period: There comes a time in
one’s life when things which lacks attentions and attraction to the person.
However, suddenly it makes sense in strange ways. It feels so right. You go
with the flow. This adrenaline gives you
energy and hope. You see the life with
hope optimism. It is so clear that you just want to see her face each time you
wake up. That person is your world and universe and perhaps beyond, if there is
any! It’s not surreal, these are feeling one can’t express. One of the most
precious feelings. You never want to compromise on an opportunity to see her
face. The more you meet, the more you fall for each other.
The Advanced Stage
of Love: You plan for the
future. Obviously, you compromise in so many things because you would want to
work this out perfectly. Not everything goes your way. Love demands sacrifice.
A sacrifice you willingly make if you really do love. It’s selfless “to some
extent”. Planning for the future begins
to take shape. This is an advanced stage. You picture your loved one in your
life as a partner. A person who will go on transform your bad days into good and
see you succeed with a smile on the face. Expectations reach the maximum
threshold. That is the time; you realize that her life is closely associated
with yours. You consider a sense of belonging to that person. Your future is
now mutually attached.
Complications: Everything proceeds according to the script. Then
like the textbook drama, action and masala movies, complications start to pile
up out of nowhere. At first you discount and ignore such “minor” differences of
thoughts as an irritant which will soon shoo away. But like a bad karma, it
sticks through. Sorted out for time being but it reappears in new avatars
frustrating and sometimes overcoming you to the fullest. You start to get
delusional and ask questions like why me? What wrong did i do to deserve this day?
Maybe i am not close to God, so he is punishing me? And certain other thoughts
like inferiority complexes such as maybe i am not worth it. However, she
reassures you. She embraces you tightly in every “misconception” and again like an
innocent kid, you just forget it and move on.
However, you start to dream the nightmares of what might happen if the worse
scenario materializes, never knowing, its gradually transforming into your real life.
Waking up after every nightmare, you show gratitude to heavens that this is
just a dream. Incidentally, there are also times when both of you are
constrained. Both wanted to meet but cant. Something goes wrong each time. Perhaps,
the frustration and sorrow of not being close to one another when it is
required invents misunderstandings beyond repair.
Ego Ruins the Relationships: Now, ego enters with
a bang and shatters everything in no time. Nothing is left to cherish of all
the past. False assumptions take hold. Now things are going exactly towards the
nightmares of your dreams. It’s
manifesting into a terrible reality. All of a sudden you break communications.
Each of you expects the other to bend knees. No one cares to mend fences and
bridges. Accommodate each other. No, never, why can’t he/she approach me on its
own. Then slowly, both begin to associate themselves with “false” sense of disrespect and lack of sensitivity. Remember, love was selfless. Look, where
the fate brought us now.
The Heartbreak: There is a pin drop silence from everywhere. A
voice which is so familiar each day vanishes. You long for each message which
is not really there even though you search for it madly. Maybe, it’s the
internet? No? Okay will wait for tomorrow. How can we stop talking? It’s just a
phase! The silence continues days and nights. Why can’t the
world stop for once? But no, it will continue, an inconvenient reality. Slowly
and gradually you start to feel empty and depressed. All the places you shared
time together starts to bite you to the core. You start to fight yourself. So
we have come to this? Unbelievable. Then you start giving yourself silly
explanations. Perhaps its luck. We were not meant to be. All other relations
suffer because you suffer. This is what you can’t afford for a longer period of
time, so you unwillingly go with the flow of life. You sail into the heartless
ocean of the world. Now, gradually you make peace with the realities. Yes! It
happened. I failed. Can’t fight a losing battle anymore. I don’t have anything
left to continue.
The Final Good
Bye! : Hence, you prepare
yourself to say Goodbye that you really don’t want to say. Because Goodbyes are
harder for the person who is leaving but it is excruciatingly painful for the
person who is left behind. Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the
book has been closed forever. As much as
you wanted to stay with the past memories, you drag your soul to move on and perhaps pay the last rites on heart wrenching love that once took you so close to each other but now misunderstandings has ruined it and both feels
poles apart. Now somewhere down the line, i am convinced my love has disastrously failed me. The Fairy tales are only written in books and mine is certainly not
different. Hence, the last and painful goodbye is uttered while crushing your
own self and emotions in the process. This world is an unfair place to live.
Most certainly it is!
