Throwback: What 2019 Taught Me?

Time is the most important commodity in the world. Investing your time on something or someone defines you as a person. Therefore, i write this blog to shed some light on moments which perhaps defned me. A very interesting phase of my life was trapped inside 2019 and became history. To define these moments in few words, I can recall words like heartbreak, wait, strength, character, hope, dedication and re-assessment of myself and those i consider my close ones. So here we go:

Relationships:

•  People come and people go. Only those who are meant to stay will ultimately find ways and means to find you back. Same goes for me. I have lost some very close people that were instrumental in my 2018 journey. I also gained some over the period of time in 2019. However, out of them few have not made it to my shore. As much as i  wanted them to hold my hand and hug them back, and as much as i tried to regain them, it merely increased the emotional distance. While it is true that one must never give up  on someone that means everything to you but do not leave any close doors if they choose to leave. I can take pride in myself that i have tried my level best and that is the most i could do. I can only care and continue with them if the reciprocation is mutual. If someone wants to quit, they will find thousand ways and excuses. It takes two to clap!
• Very fortunate to have met few of them who really shown me the way. Some friends guided and guarded me in my darkest and toughest moments back then. I counted on them whenever needed. I learnt that while they are always there for you but sometimes you fail to recognize their importance in your life. Last year, i tried hard to catch up with those pearls of  my life.
• I tried to stay close with my family and connect to my roots as well because for the past two years, i had been away.
• In the meanwhile, i learnt to be open minded with people i would normally avoid owing to the vibes i get from them (which is sometimes not very gentle). However, i found out that some of them are very nice but it only needed to see from another wider lens. These are the conenctions that really helps me benefit socially and professionally.
• Mercurial thoughts like: things could have been better, had i done it that way, really makes you feel a little agonized. But hey, life is too little to feel betrayed, sad and low. Every moment demands your full focus. Positivity in life is very important. Therefore, one should surround him or herself with positive people. Cut down on negative ones as soon as possible.
• In the very last month of the year, some amazing people crossed path with me. Some were acquainted through the "hi and hello" formalities in social gatherings while with others, it was my first encounter. However, i started to know them more closely and appreciate them more and more. I thank Allah for all this benevolence. 

Personal and Professional Growth:

• I cant thank almighty enough for his benevolence that within few days of mine leaving my previous job due to competitive examinations, i got a multinational project as consultant. I learnt and enhanced my professional skills successfully. To be honest, i really needed it. More astonishingly, the person who led me into the job was someone who never really got along with me in academic era. Now we are the best of friends and i am proud to have his back. I really wish him well and will do anything in my power to help whenever he needs mine. 
• The previous point connects me to this one. We must not think about our own self but look out for happiness in helping others. Sometimes the person who smiles alot may have a heap of sadness inside him or her. 
• I appeared in GRE and IETLS with much success Alhamdulillah. I dont know if it will take me somewhere but i have tried to open up a window that has the potential to transform my future.It is even more satisfying that i am doing all this with my own hard earned money. Alhamdulliah again.
• I have completed my Masters in IR with flying colors from a public university (private capacity owing to my job commitments). So proud of myself for this achievement. 
• Now i am into my MS (Peace and Conflict Studies) and hope to complete the requirements of my program successfully inshAllah. Although some consider it as an additional degree, i view it as the vehicle to academic transformation. Since,  my core background in bachelors was Business, this degree provides me with academic insight and a much needed perspective on my chosen field. I would love to lead international level researches as well as connect with academia, which is my strength. With struggle and dedication, i want to test my ultimate limits. I believe the best of  me is yet to come. I have firm commitment that 2020 will take me closer to my dreams inshAllah.

Things i want from 2020:

• I warmly welcome 2020 and fortunate enough to be breathing and completely fit. I hope my health and my motivation never dwindle in this crucial and transformative year for me personally. 
• I am a wanderlust soul. Therefore, as a global citizen, i want to see the wonders of almighty across the world and enrich my soul with those experiences.
• Read atleast 25 books.
• I wish to spiritually connect with my creator in new ways. I want to be humble as if i am nothing but a creation of almighty and cant move an inch without his permission. I seek to feed my soul rather than my senses.
• I would like to explore my own self in this year. 
• I wish to fill the gaps in my personality. Oh and i would like to be more observant towards my environment as my friends always taunt me with this obliviousness (sometimes not always :p)
• Wish to grow a garden or adopt some trees back in village.
• Kinndness and empathy is the meaning and essense of life. Trying to forgive myself and others. It is very hard but perhaps it makes the life very easy. This has helped me heal some of the disappointments in 2019. I want to continue forgiving all those who have hurt me or would hurt me and move on. 
• I cant control others choices, opinions and thinkng, therefore, not to invest my emotions. Never prioritize things and people who take you for granted. The world moves on and so should you. I want that process to continue. 
• Maybe, embrace the beauty of my imperfections and work to improve constantly. Never to give up on my heallth (mental and physical) and focus myself as much as i could. 

Final Words:  

No regrets and no disappointments. Only resolve to improve. That is the motto. Never lose yourself in the process of gaining others. Not to be selfish. Generosity is my prophet's characteristic. Sometimes, i lost my way only to be guided in the right direction by Allah which truly manifests his bounties on this sinner. I can not control what will 2020 bear for me but i can only pray and wish that it is the most happpiest, luckiest and most fulfilling year of my entire life. Ameen!